L O V E D but H O W ?

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Once upon a time love and being loved want to make a journey together…. “

I would like to started like that , but if I start with such a great romance, I would like to eventually make you cry in some way (in terms of being touching). Does not love include every kind of emotions ? :) Not because I thought about you, or I certainly didn't want to make you cry. :D By the way, it is impossible for you not to see that there are reasons that certainly do not support the previous sentence, but it was up to you to choose not to see it:)

I would like to make prologue with a certain aphorism, but as the content is quite crowded and as a result of the our romance genes dominate our outlook on love is likely to make going over a single route as; I do not want to do that. Of course, the result is usually bond to either to Love Memnu, to the fairy tale, or arabesque love like to those who write their love to car windows or to burst out insanely on the walls between the streets. So it's worth remembering that we need to be a bit more realistic and more questioning. We don't have to give everything a scientific status, but one of the great features of science is that sometimes it's a way to re-understand what we memorize and to get out of our axis and this may be a remarkable reason for you to look at this article to make you think before stepping into this summer or the next summer or a summer wedding or summer love.

Lots of ink has been consumed for love. Many pages has been stored, read and written.It is not the subject of this article to redefine, to understand the reason, to put it back on the table but of course we don't mean I can't reopen this topic with other articles. (If you specify the topic you want to comment, I can do my best to open and make you enjoy a wide range of topics.)

Turning back to the real issue, we can see that the need to love and be loved in the context of male and female relationships actually goes over the foundations I mentioned above. So in an advertising film hang which of these eggs is bigger? How much baking powder makes the cake? Where did my father learn to make such a cake? ”If the sequence of questions shows how a little girl can give make a meaning effort, in her mind, by painting something that she has never met or experienced for the first time, she can make it learned, admired or codable, at the same time, here's the new scientific work that tells us kind of this : “ Your expectation, love behavior and your loveshape has also been learned.
For example, let's embody this; it is very likely that children who are constantly exalted by their parents, who have never been told mistakes or have always been approved, begin to think that love is a perpetual gain when they reach adulthood. In a sense, this is an example that translates to the gradual diminishing or diminishing love between the spouses of today, not the love itself, but the love behavior or expectation that the individual cannot come to the desired, dreamed and desired consistency.

Another issue is the other factors that influence the decrease in love or the deformation.For example, the reflection of many music in our ears today is as follows: “it will never end, you are mine, you are my heart, you are everything, it will not be easy, I gave it from myself”…. I dont say these metaphors in order to criticize the fabric of music, but I just would like to  remind us that we need to re-understand what kind of portrait it is consisting in our unconscious world because today, while we are memorizing many songs, we often listen only rhythmically, beyond the meaning. However, the brain perceives the desire to create a relationship with such patterns as difficult it will not end forever, it says the hard, always works for compulsion in itself and it tries to prove it in essence and obsess to eliminate it.

For this reason, love patterns, films, aphorisms and social differentiation are very important because they are the elements that govern the maneuvers of our love behaviors in the relationship. In other words, we should not miss the fact that they do not meet our need for entertainment and pleasure. What I would like to draw your attention here is, of course, not the desire to make an addition to the existing 7735673 conspiracy theory,only love and being loved by one is in the circle of our behavior patterns.For instance ;

“I wonder how I really like it?

I love with what? and what for?

Do I love something? ”

For example; Today, many people marry with love, but the result does not match.Of course, there are attitudes, shortcomings or mistakes that cause this, but when marriages say “love does not feed the stomach insanlar people ask if there is a fundamental problem that prevents such mistakes, shortcomings or attitudes:

“What exactly doesn't feed your stomach?The thing that doesn't feed you?Or is that the way you feed your stomach is different from  you feed your partner's stomach?”

Of course, there are many other marriages suffering from other problems, but some of these expectation collisions after marriage may be one of the core problems of the relationship. Here we actually turn around and touch the temperament and character. How can different colors, especially in the beginning, be the initiator of a marriage and at the same time be the ending? So it means that, there is a dominant desire and desire shaped by our expectations and our own desires. That's why I can't say love (duration of this is controversial) because I find it dangerous to say love. For example, Love absorbs desire and passion but  it does not consist only of these substances.

Sometimes there are those who say that loving or loving much can be damaging.I don't agree with that. No matter how much the dose change in love changes, if a person doesn't love for with one-way, love doesn't destroy, poison, harm. Love is the intensity of emotion that emerges at the moment you learn it.What has been learned, what side is polished it will compose  it.

Yes, love also requires proof, but does every evidence have to be a flower or a stone?

Some may show their language of love with protectionism ,

Some people's hand is scarce but the language is generous

Some people enchant by a couple eyes .they may only communicate with it.

some just want to communicate by understanding / accepting…

So if you've made a choice and you're away from your first feelings, I'll say that sometimes it's not about the other side.This may be because your expectations do not match the facts of your interlocutors. In essence, it is useful to get a small look. Very little…

 


Kaynakça

https://www.thedailybeast.com/this-is-your-brain-on-love

https://wanna-joke.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/love-life-expectation-reality.jpg

https://ww1.notestream.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/1428625943Note_316_Share.jpg

https://www.askideas.com/media/84/Love-is-a-learned-behavior.-To-shor-love-is-to-know-it-deep-in-your-soul.jpg

http://www.retunecoaching.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/decoding-for-love.png

Merve Doğanlar

Merve Doğanlar

Psikolog

1990 yılında Yalova’da dünyaya merhaba dedi. İlkokul, ortaokul ve lise öğrenimlerini burada tamamlayıp, daha sonra Üsküdar Üniversitesi Psikoloji (ing) bölümünden mezun oldu. Üniversite öğrenimi sırasında İletişim bilimlerinde yandal yaptı. PAMER (Post-Colonial çalışmalar merkezinde) çeşitli araştırmalara ve makale çalışmalarına katıldı. Lisans öğrenimi sırasında biri Almanya biri İngiltere olmak üzere 2 Erasmus yaptı. Bu yüzden kültür şoklarına toleranslı:).Şuan da hali hazırda devam etmekte olan Klinik Psikoloji yüksek lisans öğrencisi, spor aşığı, bilime dair her şeye maydanoz olmayı seven, nitelikli hasbihallere müptela, değiştirebileceklerine değiştiremeyeceklerinden daha çok inanan, insana dair her şeye meraklı olmak gibi sıfatlarıyla hemhal olmakta.

 

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